Advice for Production Assistants

sunburn:

My boss Matt discovered an “Advice for Production Assistants” tip sheet published by Dan Abrams of the Producer’s Guild.  This is his first tip:

Yes, there really are hundreds of people lining up to do your job. Make me happy and you can probably keep it for at least another day.  You might ultimately prove to be a brilliant, creative genius.  But I need someone who will get what I want done quickly, efficiently, diplomatically and above all, without causing any headaches.  That doesn’t mean “do what you think is best for the show.”  Until you’ve earned my trust (over time), I probably have a lot more important things to do before I even consider what you think is “best for the show.”

This has inspired me to re-write his guide and mail it to him in hopes he considers revising it.  I’ve written

Yes, there really are hundreds of jobs lined up waiting for your application. So make sure you enjoy the job you have. If you are consistently being reminded of your job’s insecurity, then prove everyone right and leave. The company that tells you “there are hundreds of people lining up to do your job” has learned that lesson because of it’s own insufferable workplace. Get out; your bliss lies with those who don’t tell you how lucky you are – that’s something that you determine.

More to come.

Holy crap, this is bad advice.

When I was a PA, it became my job (somehow) to be the designated peanut butter and jelly sandwich maker for the prima donna asshole 1st AD. This was apparently a more difficult job than I realized, as he decided one day to lecture me, loudly and in front of the whole crew, about how I was “doing it wrong.” He then gave me a detailed, step by step demonstration at the craft services table of the proper way to assemble a PB&J. And I had it easy — talk to the poor souls who worked for Scott Rudin. Guess what, one of them now runs MTV Films.

Truth is, everyone in Hollywood has stories like this. If you don’t, you’re not one of us, and your upward momentum will be limited because of it.

Suck it up, buttercup.