You need to hear this.
Hey ladies: you know how your boyfriends are always bugging you with music? Insisting that you sit through a whole song even though there are about eight million other things you’d rather be doing? It’s because men have a hard time expressing themselves and they somehow think that if you listen to a particular song you’ll magically be able to understand the feelings that song engenders in them and, by extension, their whole range of emotions about life itself. They haven’t quite figured out that you don’t actually care how they feel about anything; you just want them to look good in front of your friends and give you babies.
I sense that this post is distinctly related to the one that follows, in which Balk praises the genius of Phil Collins. I hear you, buddy — usually I wait until the third date to break out this song, but sometimes I just can’t hold on that long. And they never understand.