August 2009
You there: go home. Summer.
WatchI feel like this is the world where people talk like random Spam generators.
July 2009
1 tag
Remember when Obama could tell a good story?
The President is doing a terrible job of selling health care reform. This is surprising, because we all know the man can tell a good story. “I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton’s army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas.” Remember...
Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison's campaign website... →
Rick Perry is the current governor of Texas, btw.
(707) OLD-JEWS makes a Wall Street Journal blog →
“The PPIC Survey finds Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s approval rating at...”
– Live by the sword, die by the sword. Except, nobody’s weilding a sword this time. But Schwarzenegger’s got a knife. Like Crocodile Dundee. Huh? I’ve confused myself with my own metaphor. I think the sword was supposed to be the recall or something. Anyway, California faces...
1 tag
All the people who came up with "The Very Horny... →
I hope there are brain scientists studying Twitter. Every time a new meme makes the rounds, dozens of people come up with the same joke. This must say something about how we’re wired as a species. What also must say something is the fact that none of these people seem to consider the possibility that their joke might be obvious.
UPDATE: I just came up with “Everybody Poops...
1 tag
How a Bank of California might save the state →
Michael Jackson's hair to be turned into diamonds →
Oddly befitting.
Here’s the money quote: “When executive producer Ralph Cohen scooped up the charred hair Michael Jackson lost in the filming of the now-infamous Pepsi commercial, he had no idea that he was saving an important piece of history.”
I kind of think he did. Since he SAVED IT FOR 25 YEARS. “Oh, Michael Jackson died. How sad. You know, I think I have some of...
(707) OLD-JEWS
Villaraigosa booed at Dodger game →
So the weirdest thing happened last night. Around 9pm, there’s a knock at the door. It’s the ghost of Anthony Burgess. He says excuse me, and brushes past, just lets himself in. Floats over to the bookshelf. Nose up, dit duh dit duh doo, aha, he finds it. A paperback copy of A Clockwork Orange.
Look, the Burgess spectre says, translucent against the venetian blinds, this...
Pro tip for entertainment interns:
Do not reveal the surprises of the new Harry Potter film to your movie buff employers, especially when the movie hasn’t even been in theaters for twelve hours. You will not get a recommendation. You may not even retain your internship.
Sarah Palin is coming to Los Angeles! →
Sam Brownback introduces the Human-Animal Hybrid... →
Certain to drive the centaurs into Sarah Palin’s new party.
What's up with Mayor Villaraigosa's Twitter? →
It’s not a big deal until you get caught lying about it.
WatchOne of my dad’s tchotchkes: an eighty year-old wind-up bear who takes off his glasses, wipes them clean, and then puts them back on.
Sarah Palin "hints" at starting third party →
It’ll be like Bull Moose meets the Know-Nothings!
And since she links to this article on her Facebooks, maybe it’s a little more than hinting at this point.
Enter now Sarah Palin with very encouraging comments that lead one to believe that she is indeed planning to do what she must: build an independent conservative movement and take this nation back from the liberals which now...
Nike confiscates video of a college player dunking... →
Just do it, unless you do it against our bread and butter. Then, don’t do it.
"Politics as usual."
mudflats:
On a hunch, I reviewed online lists of all the men and women who’ve been elected governor of their state since the year 1900. Pored over them for a few hours. Over 1200 politicians have taken that first-term oath of office. Some soon died in office. Many resigned to accept other positions in government, including Spiro Agnew who was “tapped” by Nixon after being the Governor of...
Every day this week, a car blaring Michael Jackson songs has stopped at the intersection of Beverly and Gregory, just outside my office. Monday and Tuesday, Billie Jean. Yesterday, PYT. Today, Smooth Criminal.
It’s gotta be the same person. Same volume, similar time of day (like someone who works around here on their way to lunch), probably driving a convertible (radios in convertibles...
Damnit! →
I just KNEW I should have patented the <adjective> <type of person> <action verb> <direct object> process for determining the title of a web video series!
And now, a highlight from the Wall Street...
“1:32 — Music!”
The Wall Street Journal is live-blogging the... →
“Deputy Police Chief Sergio Diaz, operations chief for the event, said...”
– Oops.
